The effects of climate change are growing everyday and will probably screw up a lot of people’s travel plans. For your convenience, below is a list of 29 #climateproblems that could make your vacation a bit less fun! Enjoy!
1) More poison ivy and poison oak. Climate change is accelerating growth of these poisonous plants. Incessant itchiness can take a vacation from fun to done in no time, and…
2) With super poison ivy, you’ll need more than just creams.
5) More ticks. And if deadly mosquitoes weren’t bad enough, we are currently enjoying a tick boom. Climate change is causing tick populations to boom! Nothing ruins camping / anything like a bloodsucking, disease-infested arachnid lodged in your skin wriggling its legs grotesquely.
6) And more Lyme disease. More ticks means more Lyme disease (a thing that can paralyze / disable / kill you and is difficult to diagnose, which is sure to disrupt countless travel plans, and other kinds of plans.)
8) More cancer. Cancer screws up everything, including travel plans. To be clear, more climate change equals more cancer.
9) More asthma. Asthma is also likely to increase with more climate change. This is bad news for traveling. Asthma attacks can totally mess up your #chillvibe.
10) More and worse allergies. These things already mess up travel plans. Imagine them being much worse. Go ahead. Imagine them. That’s what’s happening.
11) More heat waves. Not to mention deadly heat waves, which make vacations just miserable. Extreme heat is bad enough when it makes crotch rot. It’s worse when it makes your whole body rot. In the earth. Because you’re dead.
12) More floods. Floods will mess up so many travel plans, and also mess up plans to keep your basement dry or your house intact…or keep vulnerable members of your community safe and alive.
13) More severe storms. Get ready for hurricane season! What will the Weather Channel name the next devastating super-storm?! And get ready for more tornadoes, monsoons, etc. Everywhere. These are sure to mess up travel plans, especially since they will also be less predictable. Maybe don’t even make plans, just bring raingear and a boat everywhere you travel.
14) More drought, which means… less water, both for squirt guns and livestock, and…
15) Your club moves won’t be the only thing on fire! Also the forests / house, other.
17) And there will be less wheat and corn. Which are needed to make pizza and Doritos. More drought, more fires, less guacamole, and more expensive food will certainly disrupt your best-laid travel plans to Paris, or Chile, or any other place on earth.
18) And also, there will be more terrorism. What? Terrorism?
19) Yep! More war, too. Damn, really? But just in the future, right?
21) And get ready for more violence generally. Violent crime, gangsters, Mafiosi. These things are generally terrible for travel, except for violence themed vacation packages, now offered by United Airlines.
22) More genocide is also possible with more climate change. Nothing gets the State Department issuing travel bans quite like genocide.
23) More refugees. Hundreds of millions (literally!) more refugees. This will only not disrupt your travel plans if your plans involve traveling permanently to a new destination and leaving behind your home and everything you hold dear.
24) More anxiety and depression. Anxiety and depression will put a damper on any vacation.
25) More crime. Burglary, assault, murder, and rape are undesirable additions to seeing Michelangelo’s David.
26) Less snow for skiing. This will especially affect your ski trips. And also your trip to places where people need snowmelt for things like eating and living – that’s 2 billion people, by the way! Living all over the planet.
27) Fewer narwhals. Narwhal watching tours will become less abundant, disrupting myriad travel plans.
28) Fewer amphibians. We can all agree amphibians enhance most vacations.
29) Fewer species in general. I.e., fewer plants and animals. This will especially disrupt safaris.
So book that dream vacation now while climate change is only somewhat catastrophically destructive!